ungodalized me

in the sea of life
hell surfaced and the church sank into the bottom of the forgotten
i let it.
out of sheer ignorance of matters.
demons of every kind crept closer than before and suddenly i feel so unsafe.
yet life goes on as mundanely as ever
staying away gives me a worser heart wrenching bite than doubt i used to have
is the feeling a feeling of emptiness
or is it of freedom?
like what non christians put it.
freedom. hmm... i'm getting excited now
but then comes another influx of feelings: guilt. uncertainty. fear.
see Lord, i'm chained to you out of mere emotions speak so.
no matter how i feel or perceive
i am still yours
forever.
whether i hope so
or not.