Suffering

Suffer my soul, suffer.
Intoxicate yourself with the pestilence of self pity.
Roll around in the fiery coals of hopelessness
Forget most importantly all that is promised by God who patiently waits, for the moment of raining anguish.
He awaits with an umbrella to share.
I reject Him and He endures heartbreak when He sees me welcome the devil into my soft fragile core.
I allowed the devil to take away some supple delicate pieces of my soul
Leaving me incomplete, spoilt, damaged, destroyed.
Now wretched, I look up once again
At the offer of his umbrella in this heavy heavy storm.
I remember You, Your love, care and all that You have done for stupid me.
I slit my throat and die at my naivety.
Shameful.
Guilty.
Dead.

The Lord never gives up on my arrogant ass
He awaits my tide to lower
He waits for my curtains to draw back
He awaits to receive me whole heartedly.
His prodigal's son, into the arms of the forgiving loving Father of Himself.