another lapse

Cursed
Broken
Miserable.
This is just a long phase to endure.
Empty prayers every night
As I crave to be right
Or to wake up invigorated like never before
But I simply get embedded deeper into this shit.
I grasp onto a vague shadow of hope. I rummage through different excuses to live for another day.
I hold comforts in sin and the obscure
Because its biting wholesomeness and authenticity
Draws me.