shake me like demon possession

Bitterness fills my miserable fucking heart right now
Fuckingly again.
Like an occasional fit or a repetitive momentum what the fuck.
I thus had to unleash this resent like captive wild animals
I had to release my verbal diarrhoea
For they creep up from my inner most self and shake me like demon possession.
Fuck everything I say for they serve no purpose so far
More importantly are solutions.
Rehabilitation of the soul, mindset and psychological consciousness cannot be repaired by a counsellor for he would hold a different consciousness.
God is also not a solution when the problem is the source as well.
The ultimate solution for anything now is suicide.
Yes I'm back with my hobby: mulling over on how I can silence myself.
Something so resolute and ultimate.
So peaceful and so proving.
People fucking rant that it's the most stupidest thing to do blah blah blah
But think about it in a concerted perspective:
Trading your currant life is the greatest sacrifice to attain greatest release.
Hell/Heaven might not even exist. Even mother Theresa pondered so. Twice.
"Better to be safe than sorry" is hypocritical and wrong in motive hence you would end up in hell anyway.
If the Trinity was one entity, Jesus commited suicide.
Suicide might just be the greatest answer, release, freedom, act or ending for universal unrelinquishing pain.
For pain fights pain most effectively and resolutely.
Now in a dazed realm of fucking emotions which sometimes can be detachedly beautiful,
I ponder on the sanity of my efforts:
If death isn't on your mind than you must be in another consciousness entirely materialistic, debted, faith based, or mood based.
For nothing meaningful is real if not foundationalized by the above mentioned.
Cheers to death.