Lellujah

my God experience
is a cold silence

it's flying on the ground
its jumping sitting down

i'm a ravaging soul
in a protruding hole

i'm drowning ashore
on a dry downpour

play the game of God
and be blessed by the Lord

abide for you cant hide
submit or burn in heat

resign to fate
for God shall not be dead

He is emptiness fulfilled
He is loneliness accompanied

in Him i am a perfect error!
In every factor

because his story transends
the future sucks the end.

I’ve been through the days I cannot sleep if I do not read the bible and pray.
I’ve been through the days I was the only one at the altar with many staring at me crying my eyes out to you.
I’ve been through the days I literally cannot stand and slain in the lightness of Your ‘presence’.
I’ve been through he days I was addicted to You.

I’ve also been through the daysdays you were not there at all.
I’ve been through the days I realised I was talking to the wall.
I’ve been through the days I don’t give a damn anymore because I know you are not there at all.
I’ve been through the days I laugh at my feelings that were mere by-products of influence and innocence.
Then there would be all the backlash feelings, the guilt, the soul searching, the repenting, the comeback, the peak, the backslide, the indifference – REPEAT.
It’s not easy being me
And it’s DEFINITELY not me being easy.
Being complex is not me trying to get attention
I should try to get attention on my complexity.